my opinion about friends and change

I was thinking of my friend.
the one who has been quite dead for some time.

he was a good guy. one of the best I've known, still.
he thought me many things, how to ride the bike in pitch-black night,
how to hoot like an awl, how to repair bikes, how to hold firecrackers without blowing yourself up,
and certainly what exactly a friend is, and how it feels, to lose one in the real sense.

he is selfish, in a way.

although he tought me many things and I to him, he still continues to affect me in my life,
i can't affect him in his life.
for it reached a full-stop.
i cannot repay my gratitude, gratitude for his friendship.


an unanswered phone-call.


but his death made me think.

i think Everything, including us and our friends, will change.
but does that mean we move away from our friends, just like how galaxies move apart as the universe expands?
i actually think not now.

I used to think we were exactly like galaxies in the expanding universe.
everyone is isolated, and at the same time moving far from each other after they meet by pure chance.

his death changed my point of view.

its almost as if I'd have drawn my own image of the universe, on a paper, and suddenly found out that if i would look at the paper, from sideways, it makes no difference to the thickness of the paper.
even though it is a 3-d model, looking in 4-d, everything pretty much stays the same in the 4th direction.



I now think, that just because friends don't speak anymore, for whatever reasons, death being one of them,
it still doesn't stop them from having a strong, unbreakable link in the past.
and that link, is enough to prove that friends are infact friends.

those links binds us so strongly to each other, and this world, so that we know where we are, and where each other may be.

although we change, move, and look at things in a different perspective,
our past stays the same, and it acts as an anchour to provide us with a vantage point.
sometimes, for us to pull ourself back to remember how it was in the past.


for, nobody remembers the past when they were alone.


I believe so,
because the moment I negate the past and all my links,
and all my friends i don't see anymore,
my dead friend would not be my friend anymore. it will just be a memory of past events.

which does not seem right for me.

He is forever young in my memory, and in my link of thoughts;
however I feel I am changing, and getting older every hour, every second,
and the scary part is that what i am feeling, is what exactly is happening.

But even though I may live for a hundred more years,
and completely change myself, inside and out, compaired to when we were together young,
I will never let go of my memory of my friend.
the presence of that strong link, is enough to revert me back to my yonug self, and smile at our misfortunes that we did.

so, my friend is still very much my friend, even though he is dead.
i don't see why people can manage to stop being good friends.
me and my friend don't speak to each other, we don't even see each other,
but he is still,
my dearest friend.


so i am not afraid to change anymore, i am not afraid to move forward.
for nothing can now change the fact that i have an awesome friend.


i hope my friends are not afraid of changing, and to see change in their friends.
so what, if you've changed.
so what, if they've changed.

such petty changes are uncomparable to the miracle that we are, in fact,
friends.


I don't even care if any of my friends decide to hate me;
they are still alive and i owe them a thanks for that.