youth

Lets try to be a romantic teenager for once, and think about love.

I've had one before. People say i have no soul - which, i think, is half true,
but i secretly believe in inanimate objects secretly having souls, (like, rocks)
so i even secretly believe i do have some secret soul.

anyway.



Its very clever, how they say "fall" in love.
its like quicksand,
or those bottomless mud-pools in jungles - what do you call them again?

it only looks like a small patch of sand, or a very shallow puddle of mud.

If only, they looked like thunderstorms, or a hurricane.
I could avoid them, take shelter, or just walk away.
If only they were like Fire,
I could put them out with water, or lots of CO2.

But its a quicksand allright, it waits there, not moving but also looking innocent as hell
just waiting for someone foolish enough to step right into it,
first moment you think its no big deal.
the next, you are ankle deep,
next waist,
and by the time you've sensed something is wrong, you're buried to your nose.
you think "oh shit", try to move but that only makes you sink further.

and you're "in" love. very clever.

If only they were like an animal,
I could at least fight it, or tame it if i'm lucky
If only they were like music,
I could at least cover my ears, or say "its not my genre".

If only.

If only if it wasn't you.

------------------------------------

im having a rash now.
like, right, now.

i think the facts that i sunbathed a tad too much, probably ate something toxic (i think its the meat i had today)
and drank a little, all added up.

Apparently my back looks like "one of the crews from the flying dutchmen" from Pirates of the Carribian.
(we recently watched the DVD)

the angry red spots are multiplying as i type,
its looking really like christmas on my arms, very appropiate.
its like my body is saying "Merry christmas, BITCH" to me.
(merry christmas to you, too.)

have you had rashes all over your body before?
its quite nice actually.
you get the satisfaction you get when you scratch a mosquito bite,
but only its just all over your body with 10x the intensity.
I never had angry rashes like this before, so im enjoying the occasion right now.

it would be funny if this was like the starting to my life-long skin problem,
very ironic indeed.
very, ironic.
lets hope those red spots would be cleared up as cities are freed from red christmas lights.

merry christmas. (a bit late innit, but its okay)