music

when i listen to music,
i feel that i am not just listening to music, but something is happening semantically, simultaneously as I get the influx of rhythmic vibration that transulates to music.

music reminds me, what, how and sometimes why i was feeling something when I have listened to that music in the past.

It is somewhat similar to; standing in the rain,
normally you feel the rain, and just that rain, water that is on your body. But if you concentrate hard enough, you can feel each droplets of rain that is hitting your body, the mist that touches your skin and water gliding down between your cloths and you. (well, not exactly every single one of them but you can decieve yourself that you can.)

the rain itself being the music, and the raindrops, mist and the water being the memory.
for me, when I listen to music, my memory comes along, small and trivial but just because it is small and insignificant it is pleasent to know that you have them.

It is strange, since memory should come from within me, but I cannot feel as if memory is something that comes out from me, like sweat or tears. Memory for me, is more of something falling from the sky or coming out of nowhere.

for example, when i listen to daft punk "harder, better, stronger...", I get the raindrops of smell of my room, the mist of white florescent tube light, and chemistry equations tricking down my skin (most prominently, 2,4-DNP).
and I think "ah, i was listening to this when i was revising for A-level chemistry."

I feel no strong attraction to music I first listen to, so perhaps this is why.



perhaps memory is what shapes your identity, and because you have an identity, your choice of music appeals to you.
I'd hate to lose my memory, since if i do, than all my music would perhaps mean nothing to me, and together goes "myself".