God's Grandeur

I just came across an internet diary of a girl who was fighting cancer (she has passed away already)

she depicted her life in hospital as optimistically as one can possibly do, even when her toes came off in a necrosis (rotting off of body parts) and she may well be suffering from tremendous physical pains, all in simultanious action towards most certain death.

It hits me hard when I see things like this. her very last post, translated in english, goes on like this;

I wish I could meet all, all my friends... Just got so many music files from some of them(^_^)v
the heat and the pain reminds me of the uncontrollable sadness, and how where I am now is so unstable and fragile.
I wonder if its ok for my head to hurt this much... my temperature isn't going down yet too. I feel like I'm being hammered in my insides. I wish i could talk to someone, I feel as if i could forget how to speak...I even feel that I'm losing my identity.
no... this is greed. I just want someone to be around, I'm taking advantage of kindness... It doesn't make progress!
Is the reason I cannot see the sky, a punishment to my murky heart?
so what punishment is my brethlessness for? my creaking, grating body?
I want to overcome all these common desires and feelings, just want to be someone who could provide love to all people I meet, and just keep smiling...
I want to tell you that if you look up at the sky, you'd realise humans are so tiny, but we have a limitless amount of thought we could share.

my body is a bit heavy. and my temperature isn't going down...
I think I'll go mail someone :)

this post was just followed by "deceased 20:17, 23 yrs old"



Life is never fair, and I think it is God's humour that he has provided us with feelings, so we would feel greater pain.

I want to practice medicine, as a way to help people overcome their fate.










serious blog entries are so boring to read anyways, and noone would comment... I think I'll stop writing stuff that's serious here.