My fear and such.

I'm not a man of many fears, but I do have fears.

one such fear is fear of cockroaches. I do not have Entomophobia, its just roaches that I loath and fear compared to other insects or any other living thing.
But my mother fears them more than death. she screams, trambles at a sight of one, and twitches at the utterance of the first syllibi of it.

so why do I fear them? perhaps its just that I have seen my mother having so much fear against it, hence my fear too.
But because when that cockroach, lets call him Mr.R, appears in our house, (which is rare, since we try to keep clean) I'm the one who has to deal with them, I'm getting used to it.

but still, sometimes I just get really really freaked out by them.
I've had Mr.R crawl up my sleeve (and into my shirt) before, that time, i could not scream or shout, I was just petrified, and I nearly died of heart attack.

Just now I had to deal with one Mr.R, who came out of nowhere to scare the living daylight of my mom, and I went and saw the biggest one in my entire life.
it was around 8cm long, if antennaes included, it would be 15cm or more.
I mean, just take out a ruler, and imagine one that big. I have a ruler right now, and I am sure it was that big.

The best way to deal with them is by using newspapers. those aerosol spray just angers them, does less harm than it does to any human i suppose. (that is how I invited Mr.R up my sleeve last time, by spraying him)

so I see Mr.R on the sofa, pensively rotating his antennas and moving slowly.
I flicked him onto the floor, careful not to put him on the carpet, Mr.R suddenly becoming very agile, rushing towards me. I flung up my rolled-up newspaper, and smacked hard onto Mr.R.
What I saw the next moment was even more horrifying than his presence alone,
he was split into two, but still moving very fast (towards me)

its really difficult to put it into words. the kind of horrer is very.... primal.

so i smashed the two Mr.Rs into bits, and I stepped on them via a sheet of newspaper. I can still feel the grainliness of his exoskeletons, and I am still having goose-bumps from it.

I can imagine like, small fragments of it moving in a micro-scale level and multiplying itself, eating into my skin and rotting my flesh.

Oh yeah, something to scar your mind.

try putting Mrs.R (carrying an egg) into an air-tight capsule. in some weeks, you will see millions of tiny mini-R's crawling in and out of the mother's body.

they eat anything.